2-25-2010

Here we go:

The Sitch:
I havent spoken to "HIM" in a while, last time I had he was telling me he is Broke and needs to sell the rims from the car and the workout equipment to pay the car note and to see if he can give me money for the kids.. I guess well see about that.

The JOB HUNT:
no luck has been coming my way, been to many places, sent out to many online emails for jobs.. just nothing yet.. ugh

The LOOK:
I dont know where all my clothes been? YOu know since im with my mom now i think she took them and hid them but im lacking clothes for job hunting.. and Oh yea some of you may have seen me when i had hair that was curly wavy ( the natural) well ive been going straight lately and its time consuming so i am going back to the curly wavys for a while.. Also Ive gained freaking 4 lbs!! I need a personal Trainer!!

Friends:
Thanks so much to a friend of mine ill call him D he has helped me thru this when i dont like to truly ask for it but i truly do need it he always seems to help so thanks so much. Also to C he always offers and has helped times before so thanks, and L always offers.. i hope i didnt forget anyone. oh and M or J thanks for helping me with my resume :) HONESTLY if it wasnt for the friends that do help me out i probably would have been crazy by now i truly thank you soooooooo very much.. you are helping me through this hard time.

and today is my moms bday, so happy birthday MOM...

The Job HUNT

So the latest with me.. lets see

First I needed daycare assistance to help me when I am job hunting or even when I get a job. So I applied for that and they offered me 2 weeks of day care assistance for job seeking. I had day care assistance before a few years back and its very helpful. But this time around they are only assisting me with 95% of the expenses, and dont get me wrong Thats amazing but last time as a JOB SEEKER they usually would assume you have no INCOME (which i dont)...so I have to now PAY 5% of the daycare..its not a bad amount but regardless of me saying that I still have no income!... but Thanks to a Friend I got this week taken care of... So then comes my first day of a FULL job hunt.. because I have been hunting but it hasnt been able to be as intense as I would like. I applied to two jobs Online (both clerical jobs) and planned on hitting 3 in person ( only managed to hit two) One on the strip, which im more interesting in, and the other was Buffalo Wild Wings... Just Wish me LUCK...

an update

So Whats new with me you ask..

Well, I have my official divorce decree papers..but im still job hunting.. and doing it carless..which does suck. I have been very stressed from this... wondering how can i make money fast enough to get a car and a place of my own.. well then those things pop in my head.. Stripping = pros and cons.... Pros : I love dancing, its a good work out and there are so many close by i could walk, it can be good money but i hear thats not always the case. Cons: I am not really into grinding on random men ( webcam flirting is one thing, actually doing it on someone is another), its a industry thats always around drugs and probably violence, so its dangerous, it would cost me 200 dollars to just start dancing.. ugh!! then there is Adult films ( which i have gotten offers for) Pros and cons.... Well PROs: thats Crazy fast money, and that may be the only pro i can think of... Cons: Ill be able to be viewable by many that i may not want to see me, it will always be out there, my Va- j j might get tired of being fucked so much.. (excuse the language),.. so I dont know.. i just wish i was lucky enough to find a pretty good job, car and home.. What a blessing that would be!

OMG this totally Shocked me!

So alot have been going on with me lately. I am currently still in Vegas, at my moms home (where there i absolutely no room for us) but we are doing what we have to do to get away from the Ex..because he is known to just snap. But anyways...Today I was out and about ( with a rental car, because he took that and didnt want me to use it) and i stop in a a lawyers office to tell them my situation and try to get more knowledge about what options I have and I can do. Well as I am in there he is explaining the process, and at the end I said well ihave one more question.."me and daniel have been thru this before but we never finalized it from what we knew.. so he looks up to see what happened when we went thru court and I come to find out I am already DIVORCED FROM HIM OMG.!!! are you kidding me.., All THIS time!! we have been divorced since 2006 ( two thousand and freaking SIX) so im happy and confused at the same time..happy that i am not attached to him in that way anymore, confused on why i didnt know that, confused on what to do next, confused on wondering if this is a full benefit for me, and also upset that i was legally divorced from him and had to endure all that abusive.( well didnt have to be was afraid to leave until i had a safe plan) Well i just hope the next steps of custody and support go good..
but WOW and a big WOW

So if you know me knows the complications i was having with my H (husband) we arent doing well he is very abusive in all aspects.. and i just wanted to find a job save up money and leave..well thats not the case now..I need to get out of here and i have no where to go. EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS its so easy just leave.. but not with 3 kids.. i have no money, no car, no place and no job.. ill be homeless..so its not as easy as getting up and moving..and friends and family u might think? well I dont have anyone that can help me.. so what does a stay at home mom do then?

So, My photos and videos from photobucket have officially been hacked into, and I found where they were being posted (and hopefully thats the only places) and How I feel about this.. Im kinda having mixed feelings about it. Im upset, embarassed, sad, hurt, and regretful. I know its my fault because I posted it and hosted it. but it just sucks to happen. I am wondering if i want to post and host again.. i was thinking about NOT.. or maybe just toning everything down that i do.. im not sure.. but i just wanted to blog about this. i dont know...

So I recently took some photos. Took them in one of my tubs ( small tub) the look I was aiming for didnt come out that way out all. I would say it looks more like umm i dont know What do you think. (posted a few photos) i looked up Mimes because i figured that could be another interesting photo to try to turn sexy and when i googled Mime, their attire looked similiar to what i had one.. well then I decided to create a "silent film" and I love it, its a bit funny and cute with sexiness in it.. I cant share that on the blog spot, But i wanted to mention it.